"My Girl Likes to Party all the Time"

I have not been to a party in feels like FOREVER!! That is soooo sad to me.
I miss going out, and dressing up, and looking as good as I feel!!!

Well, I am finally going to a party, I think. Wednesday. Fire and Ice. And I am sooo excited. I finally get to get out the house. I finally (almost) have my body back. And I am gonna have sooo much fun, even if I have to force it. :)

I am not really a "party every weekend" kind of girl. But I do like to party. (So maybe my blog title is a lil misleading, but the song just popped in my head as I was typing.)

As a college student I feel like I should have partied a long time ago. But we all know why that hasnt happened. I haven't been to much of anything on campus, not even a basketball game. I have been to one poetry reading and the reading with Joyce Maynard. These events were a lot more interesting than I expected them to be, but nothing compared to a real party at a real club.

I haven't been able to pull myself away from my baby ever since she got here. And I hate that I am going to school tomorrow, and she'll be away from me with her dad all day til I get back. But I have a Calculus test review and a MIS test to make up. Being a scholar, I have to do what I have to do. :) And I know I am going to be thinking about what my baby is doing when I go to that party. But I haven't been out the house in soo long, and haven't been to a party in months. So, when I heard about this party, I was like "I have to go!"

P.S. Today was Paris' first day at church. (First day out the house really) She was sooo cute. She slept almost the whole time, but I literally stared at her almost the whole service.

"Friends. How many of us have them. Friends. Ones we can depend on"

What is it about having a new baby that suddenly draws people to you?? It is so wierd. I have had people contact me that I barely ever even spoke to when I was in high school. Maybe their just curious and maybe their just nosy, but mostly I think they are so fake.

Like I have come across some fake people in my life, but it seems like now that I have had a baby more and more fakes seem drawn to me. What is it? I even had this chick who supposedly hated me in high school (who I barely knew by the way) send me a friend request on facebook. So I messaged her. I said "So all of a sudden you wanna be my friend?" and she says "What's that supposed to mean?" and I said "Hell, what do you think it means. We are not cool. I don't like you."

It's stupid. And so ridiculous. It makes me mad, but then it makes me laugh. Because I am not a grudge holding person, but I am not stupid either. I can see right through these people. I have very few friends and I am not to quick to jump and call someone my friend just because they send me a stupid request or message on facebook. Like what the fuck, people. Be real now!! Gosh! I mean I can get along with most people, but these people are actin like we are best buds all of a sudden (not the girl mentioned in the previous paragraph, but other people). Wierd...

Post-Thanksgiving Post

Sooo... Yesterday was Thanksgiving. But it was soooo lame. It was just me and my mom. (My little sister went with her dad to visit family in Florida) Not to sound ungrateful or anything...But it was sooo boring. We stayed in the house, just the three of us (me, my mom, and Paris, of course). The food was really good, but it was not like our usual holidays. Usually we go over to my grandma's with the rest of the family, but not this year. I didn't want to leave the house anyway, but I hate being cooped up in the house. I feel like a prisoner. The last place I was at when I was out of the house was the hospital. Ugh! And I couldn't really leave if I wanted to...the pain!! (We won't go into details, but yea I'm hurting a little bit.)

Granted, most of my family visited at the hospital and the house, when I got home, but no one came to visit yesterday. And I know everyone was over my grandma's house. And that really stinks, because I wanted to see everyone. I think they should have come to visit since they all knew I've been on house arrest basically--but that's another story all together. My aunt did call to see how I was doing, though. So I'll give her that.

Now that I have typed all this I kind of feel bad. Thanksgiving is supposed to be a day of thanks, but I bet I sound so ungrateful right now. But, we can't help how we feel right? Well, I do have a lot to be thankful for. Let me list those things, and maybe I can sort of make up for the negativity in this post...

...my brand new baby, my mother (who has been a BIG help), my dad (who always is a big help to me), my little sister (who has also done the best she can to help), my loving boyfriend and his family, my family, my brand new baby, my health, my strength, the fact that this semester is going so well despite everything, my God-given energy that has allowed me to do so well and keep myself motivated, my brand new baby, my friends, and my new baby

She's Here!!!

So, she came Saturday, the 17that 1:58 pm.---Paris Nicole Collins. She was 8 lbs 2 oz and BEAUTIFUL!! I can't tell ya'll how excited I am that she is finally here.

The labor, if you care to know(lol), was surprisingly easy. Once I had the epidural, I couldn't feel much of anything. And when it finally came time to push, I pushed about 5 times and that was it. It was over. It probably took like 10 min. But I had been in the hospital since 8 the morning before. (The first time they induced my contractions, it didnt really work. I guess they weren't strong enough; I don't know) But I was glad it was over. I finally had my baby, outside of my stomach. And I could finally eat (They wouldn't let me eat while they were inducing me, which was hours...)

So, me and Paris came home Monday at about 1 or 2 and I haven't really been able to put her down since. It is so wierd, because other people's kids start to annoy me after a while. But, I even love it when she cries!! How crazy is that?! All she does really now is eat and sleep, eat and sleep. I want to play with her, but she doesnt seem interested (lol). But, even so, I still can't get bored or tired of her. I know it's because she's new right now, but I don't think I could ever get tired of her....we'll see though. :)

So, thanks everyone for thinking of me. I have been truly blessed. And thanks Emily for the visit, I really appreciated it. (And the gift of course. As soon as I get the chance, I am headed straight for the mall. (lol)

Continue to pray for me and my BEAUTIFUL new baby...

No, It Didn't Happen...

Sooo, Emily called me today and said the class thought I went into labor. LoL. No, sorry guys, not this time. I just had a doctor's appointment. As a matter of fact when she called I was waiting to talk to my doctor. (It was super crowded today. I was there for hours!!!)---It's nice to know ya'll cared. :)---Anyway, so today, sadly, was not the big day. However, tomorrow is supposed to be...

...I am scheduled tomorrow at 8 in the morning to be induced at Baptist Memorial East. I am sooo excited. My mom says I should wait. As a matter of fact, my dad thinks I should wait too, or at least give it until Monday and see if she comes. But, I can't wait. Plus, they say it's my decision so... Plus, all I keep thinking about is how bad I want to see what she looks like and to hold her and smell her (I love how baby's smell) and to hear her cry even (although I know I will regret saying that-lol-). Plus, I have to think about school. And knowing and having her here is better than anticipating an unknown day, right?? I hope I'm doing the right thing. I'm praying about it really hard. So far, I haven't gotten any signs really that I shouldn't do it...Well with the exceptions of my parents saying I should wait. But, my mom is always paranoid about junk anyway and my dad didn't really advise me against it; he said he just gave his opinion because I called and asked for it.

So, wish me luck, and pray that all goes well tomorrow!!!

Column A, Column B...

EDUCATION is like OKRA.

Everyone knows that vegetables are good for us. Okra is not one of better tasting of these vegetables, especially slimy okra, but it is still beneficial. Education is like okra. Not everyone likes school, and not everyone likes to be educated. But education is something that individuals have to have in order to be successful. It may not "taste" good, or you may not enjoy it, but it is still beneficial. Education, like okra, is not a necessity to survival, but it is a wise addition if you wish to advance.

WHAT DO MY LIKES SAY ABOUT ME?

Looking at my Column A list, I am very proud to say that there are not as many material things on my like list. Most of the items that came to mind are qualities in myself or others that I value. God is at the top of my list, because I really value my faith, and I am trying to grow as a Christian. The only material items on my list are clothes, shoes, food, and money. I love to look nice and dress up, I can eat forever, and everyone likes to have money. But I also tried to think of the important things in my life. I listed education, self-advancement, being motivated, family, strong relationships, independence, music, being open to new things, and love. These are the types of things that I hold most dear. I am not trying to make myself seem deep, this is just really how I feel and what came to mind when making my list. So, what does this say about me? I would say that I am down to earth, and although I still have a lot of growing to do, I think for the most part I have my priorities in order. I try to pay attention to what's most important and what is going to last. Material things are not forever.

CLOSED-MINDEDNESS causes HATEFULNESS.

Hate is not a healthy emotion/mindset. Everyone has issues with people sometimes, but hate is an unnecessary evil. Hate arises from the unwillingness to be open-minded, to forgive. Closed-mindedness causes hatefulness. People hate because they are too stubborn to be open to other people's differences or whatever it is that may be holding them back. You have to be open-minded enough to say, "I am not going to succumb to hate."

"Ah Ha"

Everyone has had an “ah ha” moment at one point in their life I suppose, but most of mine are more like “ah ha” periods. They usually span over a length of time that eventually leads to that moment of realization where I would say “Ah Ha”.

One of my greatest “ah ha” moments, or time periods, would be the time span which led to me realizing that I really wanted to go law school. I have always been interested in law, but I have also had my doubts about it as well. I wondered if I really wanted to be in school that long. And I wondered if law was something I would really be dedicated to or if it was just a passing interest that I would grow tired of. At one point, I had even changed my mind and decided that I didn’t want to go through that much extra schooling. Little did I realize that I would soon change my mind yet again—this time permanently.

During my sophomore year in high school, I joined the Mock Court Trial Club. Like I said, I was interested in law, and I thought that it would be something fun to do. (I still had it in my mind that I did not have the patience to actually become a real lawyer.) Well, Mock Trial actually proved to be more serious than I thought. We learned actual courtroom etiquette, rules, and laws. Then, there was an actual attorney who came in and coached us on these techniques and guidelines. All this was in preparation for a competition against another school.

I would say that all this preparation and participation in Mock Trial at my high school led to the realization that I really was genuinely interested in becoming an attorney. But the actual “ah ha” period was the duration of the Mock Trial competition. The interesting thing is that my part in the competition was not that of a lawyer but that of a witness. However, the witnesses go through the same type of preparation as a lawyer. As a witness, I had to know how to answer the questions asked in ways that help my side and hurt the opposing side. I had to know the rules of the courtroom as well as laws in case my lawyer got tripped up and needed me to help him/her out. Witnesses also had to know the facts of the case better than anyone since we were portraying a certain character that had to be realistic. Not only that, but I was an expert witness. As an expert witness I had to know the facts and be able to recite them in an intelligent, professional manner when asked about them. My training for the case was really not all that different from the attorneys’.

So I was called to the stand, and I was so nervous. What if I forgot an important fact? Or what if I said something that hurt our case? But after the first couple of establishing questions like “Please state your name for the court.” and “What is your occupation?”, my nervousness died down. At the end of the trial, the other team/school was actually declared the winner, but the “judge” of the case, who was actually a practicing attorney, also had to name the “best lawyer” and “best witness” from each side. For our side, I was awarded “best witness”, and the “judge” said he even thought I was the best witness in the entire trial. I was actually surprised, because I thought I could have done so much better. This made the moment even more spectacular because it wasn’t even my best and it still turned out to be the best in the competition. All my studying and preparation had actually paid off, and I thought to myself, “This must be what it feels like to win a court trial.”

Even though my school did not win that Mock Trial competition, and even though I did not actually play the part of a lawyer, that moment when I was named “best witness”, and my feelings in response, proved my desire to be an attorney. I knew then, that I liked the challenge of studying all the laws and rules and then appealing to the judge or jury in the courtroom. I liked putting on the business suit and presenting those facts in a professional manner. It was fun to me, not work. I realized that law school would be much more of a challenge but that it would lead to the realization of my dream, so it would be worth it. The training leading up to the competition was the road to my “ah ha” moment, and the conclusion of the trial was where that “ah ha” moment came into full focus.