When I walked out of the classroom, I had somewhat of a plan as to where I wanted to go. The same place I planned, however, is not the same place I ended up. I ended up here, outside, on this wooden bench, listening to the sounds of a passing train and bits and pieces of some strangers' loud conversations. And, even though this is not where I originally say myself, it feels good to be here. It's cool outside. It's quiet for the most part, except for this girl talking so loud on her cell phone. I like it.
My life mirrors my 45-minute "walk" almost perfectly. I set goals for myself all the time. I can plan things down to the final detail, but it never ends up quite as I plan. Yet, I am hardly ever disappointed when that happens. (Not in the end anyway.) I planned to leave for school and go to UT Knoxville. I wanted to get away from Memphis, and live on my own. I even had a full scholarship to pay for tuition and housing. Everything was set and certain. I didn't expect to find out I was pregnant. And, at first, I was hopelessly upset. But ending up at the University of Memphis is looking like a better situation for me so far. I don't stay on campus, so I got money back from my grant and scholarships. I was able to get my car, which may have taken longer if I would have moved to Knoxville. I now have money in savings that is a pretty big start toward living on my own. I am able to be here in Memphis with my boyfriend. And I have my family here to support me. So, even though I didn't end up where I wanted to be, in life or during my my 45-minute retreat, I am content (and blessed).
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That train really, really pissed me off. It's really good that you're happy with where you are. Supposedly your life turns around and is completely chock full of meaning when you have a kid, so that's something else to look forward to!
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